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Jenn's Story:
Sometimes a reversal journey may not turn out the way you expect. I mean, I got to the common end result which is to be pregnant, but not in the way I had originally imagined. In 1994, I gave birth to my youngest son. I was in an abusive relationship & my ex & I had spilt & reconciled several times. He told me that he wanted no more kids & if I wanted to stay married, I would get my tubes tied. I did it at the time my son was delivered. Both fortunately & UNfortunately, we divorced a short time later, but I was left feeling incomplete as a woman, unable to conceive. I went through several years of literally willing my tubes back together. I sunk into horrible depression & each month that I got my period was an emotional nightmare. In 1998, I met my wonderful husband, Alan. We married a short time later. He was a soldier in the US Army & was the greatest thing that could have happened to me at the time. I felt horrible though because Alan was young & had no children. And I would not be able to give him one. I found out during a routine physical with my primary care provider that the military did tubal reversals. To say I was ecstatic was an understatement. We immediately began the testing that was required to qualify for the reversal. It took over a year to finally get through the necessary tests & paperwork & get a reversal date. The day of my surgery finally arrived & I was so happy! However, when I came out of the operating room, I found the most terrible, dreadful thing had happened to me. The doctors opened me up ready to repair my tubes & make me fertile again & found that it would be impossible. I had practically no tubes left. The doctor who had performed my ligation had not honestly noted in my records how much tube he had taken out & now I had undergone a major surgery for nothing. All my hopes & dreams died for that moment. For weeks, I went around in a state of depression. I finally snapped out of it more determined than ever to overcome my adversity & have a child. We couldn't afford IVF & adoption was too expensive & the wait too long. I looked into donating my eggs in order to help pay for a cycle of IVF. I knew that would be all that I could afford. Before I could get an agency to take me as an egg donor, we got out of the military & Alan went to work for the state police. I found that there was a possibility that our new insurance would cover IVF. I also found that the pioneer clinic in the US for IVF was 20 minutes from my house! Long story short, through much prayer & haggling with the insurance company, we started our first IVF cycle. It was a long hard road & I don't know if I could do it again, but I am now pregnant with my miracle baby! Our wonderful baby was supposed to be a boy, but God saw fit to give us something different - a daughter. I have three sons, so raising a daughter is both scary & exciting for us. Alan already is so in love with her, it is unbelievable. Our daughter, Riley Ayna, is due 5 days before my birthday. She is special to me for more reasons than I can list here, but I am thankful for what I have been blessed with. So not every story with a sad twist ends badly. My Riley is proof that one should never give up hope. Or their dreams.
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Tracy's Story:
At the time in my life I thought I was doing the best thing by getting having a Tubal Ligation done. After the birth of my second son I knew my marriage was over and I didnt want anymore child to hold to a marriage that had nothing. Years went by and I never regretted my TL until the day I fell in love with Ben.
Ben and I met while I was earning extra money as a bartender near a Navy Base in NJ. We were the best of friends he knew all about me, my failed marriage, my boys, and my love for them. We started dating and we both knew that this was a love that nobody could destroy. Marriage came 6 months later. Ben never had any children of his own and the love he shows my boys I knew that he would just be the best dad. This is when I started to regret my TL. We talked about having a reversal done and then looked into the prices and we knew that we could not afford it on our own. I started searching the web day and night (Ben was out to sea on deployment for 3 months so I did have a lot of time on my hands) On a message board thru Ivillage I was given the link to this site. I couldnt believe it that the military would pay for my reversal. But it would have to be placed on the back burner since we were being transferred and life was more important at that time.
While Ben was still deployed I was suck with the task of moving us to our home and getting the boys ready to start a new school mind you this was the first move we have ever made. My mind started wondering again and the urge of being a mom again was there. I read everything that I could read over and over again. While sitting at my computer I prayed and asked God if this was really meant to be. That I really needed a sign to go on to have this done. The door bell rang and it was a guy from the church we had visited that Sunday welcoming me to church and gave me a plastic Apple filled with candy. I knew that was my sign and that God was telling me to move forward things will be fine. I started making my doctors appointments and having all of the information I needed. I finally had my referral to the GYN dept at Scott Air Force Base, IL. The date was for Sept 11, 2001.
After getting up in the morning all I could think about was having my appointment with the GYN and to get my referral for the Tubal Reversal done. I turned on the news and my whole world was crashing right before me. A plane had just hit the World Trade Tower. I was in shock as from my old house I could see the NYC skyline every night. Then the other tower was hit. Then Washington. The phone was ringing I was in tears and it was my husband on the phone calling to see how my day was going. What he doesnt know about what had happened. He is on a Military Base dont they tell there people anything! When I told him what happened he told me to stop joking around and good luck at my doctor appointment later in the afternoon. Then the loud speaker went off where he was at. Honey I have to go, I will call you when I can I love you. That was the last I heard from him for a few hours. My appointment was for 2 in the afternoon. The Base was on HIGH ALERT and all I wanted was my referral done. I called the GYN clinic and they told me the doctors are here if you can get here then come in. I left my house at 11:30 to give myself plenty of time just in case. After waiting on line for 2 and ½ hours I was searched, a gun held close to me while my car was searched and my pocketbook was looked thru. I never thought life would come to that but it did that day. When they asked why I was at the base, I told them I had a doctor appointment and they said you should cancel it because youre never going to make it. Determination set in and I was there, in time for my appointment. I was shaken, upset, and confused all in the same breathe. I meet Dr. Kwac for the first time that day and I told him about how I wanted a reversal done and I wanted to go to Wright-Patterson in Ohio to have it done. I handed him a list of testing that needed to be done and he was busy on the phone getting things order for me. Ben was finally home and his SA could be done. Yippee things were moving right along. It was to be dropped off the same day as my HSG. After my HSG Dr. Kwac had some good news and bad news for me. I listen as only I could. He only saw one tube and they would need to do a Lapo in order to see if it could be repaired. The good news was he was going to send me to Ft. Leonard Wood MO which was only 3 hours away from me. My referral was sent to Ft. Leonard Wood and I had my appointment with them on October 26, 2001. The boys were off from school that day so we all piled in the car and off we went. The boys thought we were crazy and at times so did we. We met Major Enyart for the first time; he was very informative about the surgery and told me that if there was a chance that he would do it. He spoke to Ben and me and told us right down the line that it might be possible and it might not be. Then Ben was sent to the waiting room as I was being examined. After the examine Dr. Enyart said ok I will see you on the 6th. I said ok the 6th of what December, January? He said NO the 6th of November. While you here get all of your pre-admission things done. I must have come out of the room with the craziest look on my face as Ben said whats wrong. I said Honey Can you take off work on the 6th of November? He said that is only 10 days away I think I can. I will have to check WHY? Oh I am having my surgery that date. The 6th was here before you know it and I was in the OR before seeing my doc. He asks if I was ready and I said as ready as I will ever be, I woke up hours later in the recovery room. I felt a hand on top of mine and saw this big Winnie the Pooh bear next to me. Ben was standing next to me asking me if I was ok. Telling me that Dr. Enyart was able to reconnect one tube and it looked good. I said thats good. Good night. I was brought up to my room for the night and slept the night away.
In January 2002 we miscarried but we know it just wasnt the right time for us. And when the right time comes along God will bless us with a child.
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